


Containment

by salt



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Non-Con, M/M, Other, Petstuck, Slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2017-12-04 04:18:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/706453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salt/pseuds/salt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk might have been looking for a companion, but what he ended up with wasn't really what he expected. A cherub found in the shadiest parts of a trades show market emptied his wallet and found itself into his home... and his heart? But how will he cope with the two in one deal he has the misfortune of receiving?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Purchase

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Unwanted Free Ugly Troll](https://archiveofourown.org/works/477092) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> Petstuck AU for the win. It was of course, inspired by coldhopes unwanted free ugly troll, the mother of petstuck fanfics uwu 
> 
> Hilarities and sadstucks may occur
> 
> ya so i made this fic because no one would rp it with me
> 
> i have a lot of plans for this hehe

  “Exotic pets and servants for huge bargains!” Dirk saw the sign and let out a sigh. He came down here hoping to meet someone, or something that might be able to interact with. Mostly what was being sold though, were snakes and trolls and parrots. He, himself, wasn’t all that interested in pets. He preferred someone that could hold up a conversation. He rented out a troll once, but his ex-boyfriend seemed to take more interest in her than Dirk did. Since then, Dirk had lived on his own. He had considered getting a companion, but as he wandered through this sorry excuse for a trades show, the disturbingly human-like creatures locked in cages caused him to pause. “Violet-blood seadweller, $650! Very obedient.”, “Psionic for all your kinky needs, $500!”, “Well-trained Jade-blood looking for a dominant owner, $415!” The violet-tinged troll gave Dirk an up and down before giving him a wink and an animalistic purr. Dirk made a face.

  “Sorry man, I’m not big on trolls.”

The violet-blood shrugged and leaned against the pillow in his cage, sticking out his tongue. Dirk sighed and continued walking along the strip of cages. Some made hit on him, others tried to rip out his throat through the bars. Bet they’d sell fast. As he walked, he caught eye of something green. It’s cage was behind the dealer’s booth.

  Its skin was an emerald green and bruised a light green in places, and red in others. Green fangs protruded from its upper lips and it had a skeletal figure. Its head was bald and green on green, lime green and blood red swirls decorating it’s exaggerated cheeks. It wasn’t just the unique appearance that drew Dirk in, it was how it was being kept. The creature wore remains of human clothes, and on each ankle and wrist, was a shackle, holding it captive to the inside of the cage. Its body was limp and if not for the subtle rise and fall of its chest, Dirk would have assumed it was dead. Its long-lashed eyes were closed and its expression was slack with exhaustion.

The sign on the cage made Dirk scowl.

  “Exotic monster huge deal, $100! BEWARE: Extreme mood swings!”

Dirk noticed the dealer approaching him and let out a sigh.

  “It’s an interesting thing, isn’t it?” He said.

Dirk pursed his lips. “Yeah, guess so. Why’s it chained up like that?”

  “Its dangerous, y’see! When those there cheeks turn red, that thing can do some serious damage. When they’re green though, it’s the sweetest piece of meat on the market.” The guy gave a grin that made Dirk’s stomach turn.

  “Only one hundred?”

The guy looked down on him.

  “Yep, you interested? I’ll even throw in an instruction guide!”

Dirk took a breath. He couldn’t actually be considering this, could he? He could barely care for a cat, never mind a fucking… Whatever this was. He figured it could sleep on his couch, or he could set up an air mattress in his room.

  "Whats the care like?”

  “Well, it eats regular food for the most part, it can communicate with English and wash itself. Basic stuff. It’s more like a companion, if you get my drift.” The man winked and Dirk felt a scowl try and make its way onto his expression. He looked at the defeated creature and sighed.

  “Well,” He figured he could pull his jacket over it until he got to his car. “Alright.”

The man smiled as Dirk emptied his wallet and shook his hand.

  “I swear, you’ve made a good buy.” He fumbled with his keys.

‘Looks more like you’re just ready to be rid of it.’ Dirk thought to himself.

The man shouted at the creature through the bars. “Hey, beast! Wake up! Someone’s bought you!”

Dirk let the scowl show this time.

The red and green swirls on the creature’s cheeks glowed before the red seemed to melt away into its skin, leaving only the lime green decorations on its face. Slowly, it’s eyes flickered open. They were aware in an instant and the exhaustion was gone. Long lashes framed glowing green eyes. Dirk had never seen such a brilliant shade of green in someone’s _eyes_.

  “Good, its just you.” The man let out a breath he was apparently holding and unlocked the door to the cage, stepping inside to rearrange the creature’s shackles. Throughout the process, it remained silent, its neon eyes glued to the ground. As the man finally shoved the creature forward, he handed Dirk a leash which was attached to a collar around the creatures neck, and also to the shackles that were still chained around its wrists. By this point, Dirk had noticed a couple people stopping here and there to stare at his new possession.

The creature was trying to appear as small as possible, though it was already barely five feet, it cringed as it felt peoples eyes boring into it.

  “This one shouldn’t cause you much trouble, here’s the key to those shackles, but I’d suggest that you keep them on. Especially when it sleeps.” The man tipped his hat, a huge grin on his face. Yeah he definitely just wanted to get rid of it.

Dirk tugged off his jacket and pulled it over the creature’s shoulders, tugging the hood over it’s bald head. Just as he pulled up the hood, it glanced up and made eye contact for only an instant.

The fear that he saw there broke his heart, and he didn’t even know how human this thing’s feelings were in the first place.

  “Don’t worry bro, I got your back.” Dirk whispered to it before carefully pulling the leash and guiding it forward through the crowd, and its new home.


	2. Getting comfortable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this chapter is ok i wrote it when i was tired >_> chapter 3 is started and should be out in the next couple days

The car ride to his apartment was tense. There was an awkward silence that thickened the air and caused Dirk to shift uncomfortably in his seat.

  “So… What’s your name? Do you have one?” He asked finally, breaking the silence. At first it didn’t answer, and Dirk felt like an idiot. What if it didn’t speak English?

But after the pause, Dirk could make out an answer whispering from the back seat.

  “Cal…Calliope. My name is Calliope.” It said. Dirk was surprised at the sound of its voice. What he expected to be rough and animalistic was actually light and feminine. He could even detect the gentle London accent.

  “Oh, cool. I’m Dirk.”

  “Nice to meet you…” Its voice was so quiet. He wondered if he spoke to loud, would he break the creature?

  “So, you’re a cherub… Never cared for one of your kind. You might have to help me out.”

When it didn’t respond he gave a glance in the review mirror to catch its gaze so it could give him a nodd. Those eyes. Gleaming neon green. He was still fascinated by them.

The rest of the car ride was quiet, but less awkward. At least they had broken the ice.

When they arrived in the parking lot, Dirk guided Calliope out of the car by its leash, into the elevator and up onto the fourth floor.

  “My place is a bit cramped, but its big enough for parties so its big enough for you and me. Also, newly weds just moved in next door and the walls aren’t soundproof so… Hope you’re a deep sleeper.” Dirk made conversation as they walked down the hall. Luckily no one was around to stop him and his new companion. He really didn’t want to answer questions.

Calliope was quiet as Dirk unlocked the door and guided the creature inside.

It stopped in the hallway and looked around, green eyes wide in wonder. Dirk’s place had a small entrance way which lead into the living room on the left, kitchen on the right and then another hallway which lead to his bedroom and the bathroom and guest room at the end. The guest room however, was more of a junk room than anything. Filled with old recording studio pieces and puppets and old cameras. The ceiling was pretty low and Dirk could reach it if he stood on his toes, but his recent purchase barely reached his shoulder so the ceiling’s height wouldn’t be much of a problem.

Once Dirk had kicked off his shoes, he moved in front of the cherub with the keys to its shackles.

  “First things first man, getting those chains off.”

It seemed a bit confused at first as he clicked the first cuff off, but then a small gasp escaped its fanged lips and it stared at him.

  “Oh- Are you sure? Really?”

Dirk removed the shackles and finally, the collar.

  “Yeah, of course. Any house guest of mine has got to be comfortable. And a couple chucks of steel isn’t going to help that cause.”

Dirk chucked the shackles and leash onto the coffee table and guided the cherub deeper into his home.

  “Welcome to the Strider-cave Callie, the fridge is always full and the host is always friendly. Well, Almost always.”

Calliope looked around in awe and Dirk shot it a look.

  “When was the last time you slept outside a cage?”

It glanced at him before dropping its gaze down to its clawed hands.

  “You’re aloud to talk, y’know.”

It shuffled.

  “S-sorry… Um… I’ve been in and out of cages my whole life. My last master kept me in a cage. It was much larger than the one I’ve been kept in more recently though! I even had a bed to myself.” It smiled to itself. And honestly in the right light and with that small smile on its face it could almost be called cute.

  “Well, I hate to tell you this, but for the moment you’ll either share my bed or have the couch.”

The cherub jumped to look at him, eyes wide.

  “O-oh, that’s not a problem! Either is fine. Wherever you’d like to put me sir!”

Sir?

No way.

  “Just Dirk. Call me Dirk.”

  “Oh Um, right, sorry sir- Oh blast I mean Dirk!” Oh god that voice. There was a light green tint on its cheeks and if what he was told was true, the thing was blushing.

Dirk let a smirk play on his lips and he pat the creature on the head.

  “Its cool, relax. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Calliope fidgeted.

  “A-alright.”

Dirk sighed. Now what?

  “You hungry?”

Calliope shook its head.

  “I was given my fill this afternoon.”

That voice was so light. Oh. Dirk wondered. What was its gender? He assumed it might be female but… Maybe he should ask.

  “Alright, want to watch a movie then?”

What was he supposed to do with it? Hanging out was all he could really think of.

  “Um… Okay.”

Dirk figured he just wanted it to relax. It. Dammit.

He gestured to the couch for Calliope to sit before moving to the TV, pulling out some old DVDs. What would it like?

Well, he might as well ask the question now.

  “Hey Calliope…”

  “Yes?”

  “Whats your gender? Are you a girl?”

There was hesitation in the air again and Dirk looked over his shoulder to look at Callie’s green tinted face.

  “U-um… Well yes, gender-wise I am female… But biologically my species carries both sets of sex related… parts.” She trailed off. “W-where as humans only carry one depending on sex, correct?” How much she wished she had given a simpler description was evident on her face.

They carried both sets huh? So the creature that was sitting on his couch had male and female reproductive organs? Both functioning.

Dirk turned back to the TV, sliding in the first disk of some shoujo anime.

  “Female, got it.”

Dirk had wondered how something like Callie had been sold for sex purposes at first, but now, he supposed it made some sense.

  “I’m putting on anime, hope you don’t mind.” Dirk said as he moved to sit next to Calliope on the couch. She rubbed her raw wrists and shuffled.

  “I was never aloud to watch TV, so I don’t mind what we watch.”

  “Alright, well this one is a romantic comedy…”

  “Romantic??” Callie squeaked.

  “Yeah, that a problem?”

She quickly shook her head and moved to allow herself to get more comfortable.

  “O-oh, no, not at all! Its fine.”

  “Okay well, its called Ouran High School Host Club…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this is ooc too idk i might been going through this part too fast because im excited for what i have planned hgggn


	3. Nap time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehe time for things to get interesting.  
> This should update more frequently now that my school production is over.   
> Enjoy fronds

Over the next two days, Dirk assured Calliope that he bought her to free her from her cage, not to put her into a new one. The cherub expressed her glee for showering and was actually pretty helpful around the house. She even helped Dirk clean up his room.

It wasn’t until the morning of the third day that Dirk realized his house guest hadn’t slept since she arrived.

He walked into the living room to find her on the couch, where she usually camped out, drawing away.

The fridge and living room walls were already covered in doodles and sketches taped crudely to the wall. There were pictures of him and pictures of some trolls, though it seemed there were no pictures of the cherub herself.

  “Calliope.” He greeted, yawning. She glanced up at him, her eyes tired.

  “Oh, good morning Dirk.”

  “Were you up all night drawing?” He asked, taking seat beside her on the couch.

Calliope blushed and shrugged.

  “Yes, I suppose I was. I do love these markers that you have, the colors are so vibrant.”

  “They’re just Pro-markers. Maybe one day I’ll let you have at my copics.”

She blinked her green eyes at him.

  “Expensive art pens. Anyways, you should probably get some sleep.” Calliope flinched.

  “Oh, m-my species doesn’t sleep as much as yours! We can wait weeks-“

  “The bags under your eyes say otherwise.” Dirk said. Calliope fidgeted with the pen in her hand. Dirk looked at the cherub in curiosity.

  “You haven’t slept since you got here. Is something wrong?”

Now that she was found out, Dirk could really see the sag in her movements, the strokes of her pen sloppier than her first pieces and her back was hunched.

  “No… Not really.”

Dirk took the pen from her hand and she looked up in surprise. He pulled the cherub from her seat and began to march her to his room.

  “You’re getting some shut-eye missy.”

Calliope stumbled, trying to pull away from the directing of her feet.

  “U-Um-“

  “Do you get bad nightmares or something?”

  “W-well, Not exactly…”

  “I bless your head with restful dreams. Now sleep.” Dirk sat her down on the edge of her bed.

  “Sir- Dirk- Please! I really think you should at least put those chains back on my wrists-“

  “No way, go to sleep.”

With only a mild struggle, Calliope was tucked under the blankets in Dirk’s bed, her eyelids already sagging.

  “Get all the rest you need, I’ll probably be in the living room watching movies all day anyways.”

  “Dirk… I’m Sorry…” Calliope murmured, struggling to keep her eyes open.

  “Go. To. Sleep.” Dirk said, patting her lightly on her bald head. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He waited until her eyes were closed before he got up to leave the room, leaving the door slightly open behind him.

Once back in the living room, he cleaned up the fallen pens and shuffled the paper and artwork into neat piles. He put them on the island in the kitchen (after clearing a space between the smuppets) and then made himself some breakfast. Toaster strudel, oh yes.

It had only been about fifteen minutes since he’d put Calliope to bed when he heard something in the bedroom.

He looked up from the toaster and down the hall. The door was still mostly closed and the room was dark. He shrugged and leaned against the counter.

Five minutes later he heard something else. It sounded like whispered curses. Dirk narrowed his eyes behind his shades but didn’t think much of it until he heard the smashing sound of something fragile hitting the floor.

  “What the fuck?”

He took steps down the hall towards the door though it opened in front of him before he could take another step.

Calliope stood, hunched over, her beautiful green eyes and swirls had turned crimson red and she snarled at the sight of him.

  “Calliope?” She looked as though she might attack him.

As soon as Dirk had opened his mouth to speak her name the cherub had let out a snarl and lunged at him.

But by the time they hit the ground, the cherub was unconscious.

What the hell just happened?

Dirk moved himself out from under the cherub, careful not to hurt her as he carried her bridal style back to his room. While she was still in his arms she began to come to.

  “Ugh.. O-oh.. Dirk! Dirk what happened? Is everything all right?” Her voice was tired but panicked.

  “Yeah. I guess. What just happened? Your eyes went all red and crazy.” Dirk glanced at his bedside table to see his lamp had been knocked off the desk and broken.

  “And you broke my lamp.”

  “Oh blast- I’m so sorry Dirk! But… It… wasn’t me.”

Dirk cocked an eyebrow.

  “It was my brother… Um… Do you still have that paper that man gave you when you bought me?” She inquired.

Dirk thought about this. Yeah, he still had it. But he hadn’t actually given it a thorough read-through. Hadn’t the shop-keeper mentioned something about mood swings?

  “Alright well… My species, Cherubs, we are born with two personalities living in one body… You know me, and then my brother is… Um… I can’t say his name.”

  “Why not?”

  “If I speak his name or even read it while I’m here, I’ll lose consciousness and it will wake up my brother. Same goes for him and my name.”

Dirk considered this. So he had a alien pet with D.I.D. Ok.  

  “So that’s why you didn’t want to sleep… Because it would cause your brother to wake up.”

  “Yes.” Calliope yawned. “And he’s not a very nice person.”

  “I wouldn’t say that.” Dirk said sarcastically.

  “So if you insist that I sleep… Could you please put the shackles back on my wrists? I really wouldn’t want him to hurt you…”

  “Alright, if it’ll help you rest.”

After Calliope was handcuffed to the bed and fast asleep, Dirk ran to the kitchen to fetch his now very burnt strudel. With a sigh he returned to his bedroom with an empty stomach, awaiting Calliope’s brother’s arrival. 


	4. Wakey Wakey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huehuehuehue i had a lot of fun writing this.

This time it only took about five minutes. Dirk sat next Calliope’s body on the bed, her arms securely shackled to the headboard. He watched in fascination as red swirls joined the green on her cheeks. The seconds ticked away until finally, the green faded.

Dirk stared in anticipation, the only sound being a soft ticking of his alarm clock and the cherub’s breathing.

Suddenly her eyes were open and wild. The lovely green replaced with a glowing red.

She- _He_ immediately kicked out and tried to sit up, but was restrained by the shackles on his wrists.

  “What the _fuck_.” The cherub snarled, baring his protruding fangs. Even the voice caught Dirk off-guard. It was rough and throaty, every word was enunciated carefully though.

  “Welcome to the Strider-cave.”

The cherub’s red eyes turned on him.

  “Who the _fuck_ are you? Where am I? Un-chain me you piece of shit before I rip your throat open.”

Dirk faltered for only an instant.

  “Good luck ripping my throat open while I’m sitting over her-“ Before he could finish speaking the cherub twisted his body and kicked a clawed foot into Dirk’s jaw, shoving him off the bed.

The cherub cackled as Dirk groaned and felt his jaw, lying with one leg still hanging on the bed.

  “Little shit..”

Okay. He was not letting his guard down again.

Dirk slowly got up, standing next to the bed and looking at the cherub who lay immobile on the mattress but was still equip with a shit-eating grin.

  “I hope you enjoyed that taste of cherub. because you’ll be getting plenty more. But by plenty more. I mean plenty of me fisting your fuck-forsaken mouth.”

  “Well you sure are friendly.”

  “Unchain me. and you’ll see how friendly I can get.” The cherub taunted.

  “No thanks, I think I’ll keep my distance until I’m sure you’re not going to be a little bitch.”

The cherub made a face.

  “Excuse you. I am a bastard not a bitch. That’s my sister.”

  “If by you’re sister you mean cal- …you’re other half. She’s a hell of a lot sweeter than you are.”

  “That’s what sickens me.”

  “Okay moving on. I bought you and your sister, and if you’d ask her she’s been enjoying her time here. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to kill me or break my shit again, because I’m the one who feeds and bathes you.”

  “Bathe shmathe.”

  “Can you just tell me your name?”

The cherub seemed to consider this.

  “Maybe.”

  “What do you mean, maybe?”

A slow grin made its way to the cherub’s face.

  “I’ll tell you my name. If you play a game with me. And you win.”

Dirk cocked an eyebrow.

  “What sort of game?”

His grin widened.

  “You have to unchain me.”

Dirk moved to leave.

  “No way.”

  “Oh come on!”

  “I’ll grab you a toaster strudel.”

  “Coward.”

Dirk paused at the door.

  “You won’t even play a game with you’re pet. How pathetic can you be. Though. All humans are pathetic. So I’m not surprised.”

Dirk took a slow breath and turned back to face the cherub.

  “What’s your game?”

The grin was back.

  “Ah ah ah, not so fast. Free hands first. I won’t attack you. that would be breaking the rules.”

The blond slowly pulled the key from his pocket and moved carefully to stand over the cherub.

  “I’m going to regret this…”

As soon as the chains were off the cherub was up.

  “The game. is whoever can beat the other. in the least amount of moves. Wins.”

  “Beat? You mean in combat?” Dirk stared at the creature. He was practically twice his size and the cherub was skin and bones.

  “But theres a twist. You can only make a single movement. At one given time.” The cherub took stance and froze in his step.    

  “Like this!” He lunged, Dirk stepped to the side easily and stopped, ready to back away but the cherub called out to him.

  “Hey! No. You stepped away. That’s one move. Now its mine again. If you move twice. Or fall. You lose.” The cherub’s eyes were wild as he throw an arm in Dirk’s direction, claws extended. Dirk dodged again, but there was his move.

Calliope’s brother turned and drove clawed fingertips towards the human’s stomach, Dirk side-stepped and then the cherub had grabbed the collar of his shirt and froze. With Dirk’s shades gone, they were left staring into eachothers eyes. The cherub’s grin was sickeningly excited.

Dirk back-handed the creature and in response the cherub fisted his hand into Dirk’s shirt and slammed him against the wall behind him, his head slapping back against the plaster, leaving him stunned. This thing had strength.

  “Your move, Dirk.” He grinned.

The first thing he had to do was get it’s grip off of him or he’d just keep slamming him into the wall until his skull split.

Dirk fired his forearm into the Cherub’s wrist, not loosening his grip but pushing his hand away and the cherub to rip his shirt in the process. The same claw came down, aiming for Dirk’s neck but Dirk was done messing around. He crouched and waited for the second punch to his head to grab the cherub’s wrist and yank him to the ground. The cherub snarled and gave a futile attempt to push away but Dirk’s next was to slam his pet’s face into the floor of his room.

  “Fuck!” The cherub hissed, kicking out in Dirk’s direction.

Dirk skipped to sit on it’s back, keeping it’s head pinned against the carpet.

The cherub snarled and pushed up, but Dirk did a little jump and crushed it back into the floor.

  “I think I win.”

  “Fuck you.” Was the carpet-muffled response.

  “Whats your name.”

Muffled words into the carpet.

  “What was that?”

The Cherub turned his head and spat carpet pieces out of his mouth.

  “Caliborn.”

  “Good.” Dirk slowly rose off of the cherub, letting him go free.

Immediately, Caliborn scrambled up to his feet and made for the door, but Dirk was faster.

  “Going some where?”

  “You can’t contain me! I could snap your neck without blinking at eye. I could run one claw over your fleshy stomach. and send all your organs tumbling onto the floor in a heap!”

  “You’ve put a lot of thought into these haven’t you?” Dirk leaned against the door frame.

  “While you rest in your bed. I will be preparing to string you up on a noose. made from your own entrails.”

  “Enthralling. But if you cause any trouble I can just call your sister back.”

Caliborn suddenly closely resembled an angry bald cat.

  “No! She’s stupid! I’m six thousand times better than her.”

  “Coulda fooled me.”

Caliborn scowled and took a step back, fists clenched as though it was taking every ounce of self-control to not bite open Dirk’s throat.

  “Fine. What do you want from me then? And don’t say anything gross.”

  “Gross?”

  “You humans always want things from me. Disgusting things. where I have to touch your weak bodies. without breaking them.”

  “Yeah I’d appreciate the no-breaking-bodies thing.”

  “The temptation is too great though. Especially when you’re in your weakest state.” Caliborn licked his lips.

Dirk thought about this and suddenly realized what exactly the cherub was talking about.

  “Oh.”

Fuck, right. This thing had been owned by who knows how many owners. Used as a pet and probably a slave. No wonder he was so threatening. God, what had Calliope been through?

  “I don’t want anything from you. I bought your sister for the company. Plus you looked pretty pathetic sitting in that cage.”

  “I could have busted loose any time I wanted to.” Caliborn huffed, crossing his arms.

  “Right. Anyways. Are you hungry? Because I haven’t eaten yet today and I really kind of want to do that.”

Caliborn glanced at the door then back at Dirk.

  “Y’know if you promise not to break shit I will let you roam freely.”

  “You’re the only shit. that needs breaking around here.” Caliborn snerked and Dirk rolled his eyes, turning to open the door and head into the kitchen.

  “Just remember, one wrong move and I’ll send your ass right back to wherever you go when your sister is active.”

Dirk glanced behind him to see Caliborn sticking his black pronged tongue out at him.

What a little shit. 


	5. Adjustment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such a long wait! I know it's been a hell of a long time and tbh I wasn't sure if I ever would update this, but the creative juices are flowing again i g u e ssss

Dirk loaded his second attempt at breakfast into the toaster and listened as he heard Caliborn's cautious steps out of the bedroom.

He had re-positioned his pointed shades back on his face and shifted slightly so he could watch the cherub explore his new home.

  "Nice to see you've emerged." He commented and turned to face his hostile guest, leaning back against the counter.

  "The only reason you're not dead yet. Is because I am curious as to how I got here." Caliborn's voice was a low growl and his claws were flexed as he stiffly made his way into the kitchen.

Dirk couldn't stop a shiver as that dangerous gaze remained locked on him. His curved his fingers carefully over the edge of the counter, ready to retaliate if the cherub lunged.

  "I bought you." Dirk's voice was calm.

Caliborn marched up and stood right in front of him, staring him down.

  "Why the fuck would you do that? Wanted a new toy? A new pet?"

  "No actually, I-"

  "Well I've got a piece of fucking news for you. I'm not your toy. I'm not your pet. You can't control me and I'd rather die. Before doing anything for you-"

  "I was going to say," Dirk interrupted, shifting his weight forward to push Caliborn out of his personal space.

  "That I bought you, because you looked like you needed a _friend_." 

Caliborn seemed taken aback by that response and stared up at Dirk in confusion. The concept of friendship seemed to tear away any shred of hostility and replace it with a look of disbelief, resembling that of a child who was just told Santa wasn't real.

A silent tension hung in the air as Caliborn let the words sink in.

Until the toaster popped.

Dirk broke the tension as he casually turned around to pull out the toaster strudels and place one on each plate. When he turned back he handed Caliborn one of the dishes before making his way around the cherub and into the living room.

  "Come on, don't want to miss Saturday morning cartoons."

Caliborn continued to stand, dumbfounded in the kitchen for several more moments before his attitude was back and he was stalking his way over to the couch to watch Dirk fall back onto it. The cherub himself slumped down onto the floor next to the couch, huffing loudly.

  "Got something against couches?" Dirk asked, flicking on the TV.

  "I refuse to share seating space with a _lowly_ human." Caliborn growled, sniffing at the toaster strudel.

"Well, I promise I don't bite." He cast a glance at the cherub. "And neither does breakfast."

Caliborn snorted and began tearing into the jelly-filled pastry.

The pair ate and watched Spongebob silently, though the silence didn't last long after they'd finished eating. Caliborn started looking through the sheets of paper which had been stacked on the table. Dirk hadn't paid much attention until he heard the sound of them being ripped to pieces. He quickly jumped up and snatched the papers away from the little shit before he could react.

  "Hey! What gives, dude?"

  "My sister drew those, didn't she?" Caliborn looked up at the blond, pointed teeth protruding as he pouted.

  "Yeah, she did."

  "Then they must be _destroyed_." Caliborn scowled before reaching up in an attempt to snatch the papers back. Dirk merely shoved the cherub back with his leg and examined the torn sheets with a frustrated sigh.

  "Why do you hate her so much?"

  "Because she's stupid and cowardly and has no respect for the rules. She's a fucking disgrace." Without the sheets of papers to amuse him he now tore his claws through Dirk's pant leg. This time the Strider straight up kicked him.

  "What the fuck! That's it, I'm calling your sister back if you can't stop yourself from destroying everything you touch. Fuck I liked these pants..." He hopped over the cherub who was squirming childishly on his floor.

  "Noo Don't do that!!" He whined.

  "Then stop being a shit." Dirk huffed.

Caliborn stopped writhing and stared up at him with his arms crossed.

  "What else am I supposed to do? You're boring as fuck."

Dirk threw down some blank sheets and some pens on the coffee table in front of the cherub.

  "Here, how about you _create_ something instead of destroy?" Dirk suggested, exasperation seeping into his voice.

Caliborn pulled himself up into a sitting position and considered this as he blinked at the art supplies. Apparently it wasn't too terrible of an idea because a moment later he was tugging off the cap of a marker with his teeth and spreading out several sheets of paper in front of him. Dirk sighed and reclaimed his position on the couch, attention returning to the TV. Just in time for Danny Phantom.

He glanced over at Caliborn often, grimacing as he watched how his green guest gripped the pen like a weapon and dug the nib into the paper with too much force. Good thing they were just crayola or else he might have murdered the cherub himself.

Dirk was suddenly reminded of how he'd none too nicely shoved Caliborn earlier... Would Calliope feel the after effects of their conflicts when she returned?

He silently scolded himself, he would have to be more careful.

  
*

  
It was around quarter to twelve when Dirk rose from his seat, stretching out his joints. Caliborn was still sketching away, most of his drawings resembling scrambled eggs or balls of hair. The cherub barely looked up as he moved, too caught up in his own task.

It was getting time for Dirk to actually do some work. He ran a youtube channel; he did lets plays, vlogs, music videos with his original music and footage. Had a side series about his smuppets too. Best part about all that though, was that he got paid for every minute of every video.

He'd spent the past couple days editing a music video and put aside some time for brief vlogs, but he needed to record and put up a new video either today or tomorrow. The real question what would it be... He only had a set video scheduled for three days of the week, the rest of the time it was pretty random. Maybe he'd head up to the roof and take a vlog...

Though he certainly couldn't leave Caliborn unattended. 

He also didn't want to risk the cherub sneaking his way into the camera's view.

The last thing he needed was for his subscribers to think he was some creep who bought aliens as sex slaves. He shuddered at the thought alone.

Though maybe Caliborn could stay distracted long enough for him to just take a five minute video... He leaned down to peer over his shoulder.

  "What are you drawing?" He asked.

Caliborn didn't stop scrawling for a moment.

  "This one's you, obviously. This ones me, I'm ripping your soft underbelly apart with my claws. And your heads over there, making stupid faces and crying because humans are dumb and weak." Caliborn explained, pointing out each part of his drawing.

Dirk suddenly felt slightly sick to his stomach. No he certainly wasn't leaving Caliborn alone any time soon. He'd just have to find a way to do his job _while_ babysitting the cherub.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's a wee bit short but hopefully the next one will be longer!


End file.
